How is it possible that you are back?
You know… science…
Alright, fine…
“Science”*
I’m sorry. I wish that there was a better answer here… but I really I don’t know how they did it. The scientists – my creators – explained it to me… and I really tried to focus and learn, I really did… but they lost me at the phrase DNA… (“Seriously, what!?! Deoxy-what?? Oh, it’s my blood? Just say that next time!”)
In other words, you gotta ask them. I just have no idea.
But here are the basics:
Apparently they took some of my blood from my grave (and cracked the stone in process!) and then they created more of the blood with a “machine” that can replicate blood… annnnnnnd that’s all I can remember.
Seriously, my head hurts just trying to reiterate that… I’m not accustomed to the complexities of your science.
I died a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. At least I’m doing a good job going with the flow, though. I mean, can you imagine if it was John Adams that came back to life?? I sure as Hell can. And in my imagination, it’s fucking unbearable!
But I do trust science. You should too! In the end, all that matters is that I, Ben Franklin, have returned to the present-time.
Why didn’t you immediately tell the world that you were “Ben Franklin”?
Let’s be honest. You would NOT have believed me, in the first place. You still don’t!
Secondly, if you think that I’m going to just come back to the present time period and immediately expose myself to the world, then you are NOT thinking.
Do you know how much of a culture shock it is to come back to life 220 years in the future? (You don’t do you? So back off…)
I’m a primitive scientist. Practical genius. A man of logic. Basically I’m in the algebraic category of science. Formulas of arithmetic and x- y- variables. The formulas of simple machines.
Unfortunately, this has no bearing in the present day since we’re in a calculus world. A realm of abstract and advanced equations. The internet and quantum mechanics. That’s above my level.
I died 20 years before the bicycle was invented… so what THE FUCK is a train?!?!
I play checkers. This is chess…
So I took a couple years to get accustomed to the new society. In hind sight, it was a REEEEEEEEEEALLY good call.
So, why did you choose to unveil your true identity right now?
Well, for starters, I felt that 5 years prepared me with a sufficient understanding of society, business, politics, etc…
More importantly, I was really pissed off at the Alexander Hamilton Musical. Was it good? Yes. But on principle, HELL NOPE!
I am already annoyed that I will forever be remembered as being a fat, old, bald guy… and now they aren’t including me in MY OWN DAMN ERA!?!
It was time to respond.
Why did you choose to create a Mixtape as your format?
Shout out to my students. I’ve connected with them through rap. Turns out that is the best format for me. I always liked rhyming and poetic verse when I was young. It was an easy way of adding rhythm, to a music-less life. Rap has been such a nice surprise for me! They like it too. We connected. All I had to do was adjust to the new cultural elements around slang, subject matter, literary devices, and then I was able to kick it with my kids.
Since I had already had the rap background, a mixtape seemed like the appropriate way to respond to a RAP musical. I figured we’d settle this the way that the Founding Fathers had always intended… through an underground mixtape heard by dozens of people.
Okay, but… I’m still not getting it. How is it possible that you are back??
JESUS CHRIIIIIIST! It took less time to convince you of the science behind Jurassic Park…
Just enjoy the damn story!